I Am Ashamed to be Black and a Man’

Moeketsi Mosola
Moeketsi Mosola

I am ashamed to be black and a man in South Africa: I was raised in a family of women only. I am the eldest of four children in my family. My whole life view was predominantly shaped by women. Infect, I wore earrings until I started primary school because it looked odd in the house that I was the only one not wearing earrings.

Phenomenal women have been central to my life and have shaped the way I view and see the world. These are women who have protected me throughout my life, ensuring that I become a man I am today. Here is the thing: We black South African men, what kind of men are we? We rape our children who are 9 months of age (the story of Tshepang), we rape and disembow our young girls (Anele Boyseen 17 years), we high-jack our women and drag and kill our most vulnerable members of our society, our children (Teagrin Morris-4 year Old).

We break into our mothers and grand-mothers houses rape, beat them and Kill them (Hester Marie Koch 62, was raped and murdered by blacks after helping one of them give birth and inviting them to stay at the farm she lived on with her husband Arnold Schultz). What kind of men are we?, when we fail to protect our women and children – instead we feast on them.

Our women cannot take a walk in the street after six in the evening, because they are scared of us, they cannot take a walk on the beach in the evening because they are afraid of us. Our sisters freedom of movement is limited by their fear of being a victim of our vicious acts. Our Toddlers are afraid of us because we touch their private parts when we are alone with them, breaking their innocence and scarring them for life.

What kind of men are we?, when we corrective-rape our sisters who happen to prefer a different sexual orientation?. When we commit these crimes, most us say, only a few of us do those things. I am ashamed that I am part of many who continue to fail to stop the few committing these acts in our name. I am ashamed because as part of many I have failed Tshepang, Teagrin, Annele and many others whose names never made TV and radio news.

I am ashamed that I am part of black men that have turned our society, our women and our children. I am ashamed to be part of black men that forgets quickly once the cameras are turned off about the safety of our women and children . Today, I can only truly apologise to our Grand- mothers, our mothers, our aunts, our nieces, our children for causing them so much pain. I do so without any reservation. As for my fellow black South African men, what kind of men are we?. We should all be ashamed to be black and men in South Africa!!!! We Must change our ways and Soon!!!

Writer: Moeketsi Mosola

85 thoughts on “I Am Ashamed to be Black and a Man’

  1. This is so sad but so true. A very well written article. One other aspect is that our Black men think it is their right, and some even feel it is their duty, to beat a woman into submission, to beat her when she has done something wrong, to beat her when they have had a bad day, to beat her when they have been out with another woman and she has the audacity to ask where have you been, to beat her when they feel inadequate, to beat her when they are intoxicated, to beat her when….. (Fill in the blank because our men come up with a million and one excuses). This beating of our women must stop!!! Black men need to teach their sons that it is wrong, and lead by example. Their daughters need to know that it is not a socially accepted normal thing that happens. The beating must stop!!!

    1. Thank you for your honesty, first off…

      As we know any color male can beat on a woman.
      But if it happens even ONE time to ANY of us,
      it is vile and wrong. If it is allowed to happen once,
      just ONE time, with no consequence, the bad behavior seems to continue, until it reaches a peak.
      IF ALL Males would read their Holy Bibles, and turn back to
      the ways of their grandmothers and great grandparents,
      one could have JESUS CHRIST as their ROLE MODEL….and they would want to PLEASE God instead of themselves! They would know Where and with Whom their priorities lie…and it would NOT be with SELF!
      But sadly when kids leave home, they throw away alot of what
      they were taught…they grow up as adults and weed out their Christian mentoring and adjust what they know, to accommodate their sinful lifestyles….well…it is TIME to come back to our ROOTS, BEFORE it is too late, and we have lost it All!!
      We need to all ask for forgiveness, as we have ALL fallen short
      of the Glory of God…and begin individually as well as Collectively, as a people, to Live FOR God, and not for SELF! “SELF” is on the throne and we need to put God back on the throne and give ourselves the boot! THIS is why we are in this mess, of such high crime, anger, & hate issues…many, have lost their way…they need a hand UP, not a hand Out!!
      We should say to ourselves…it isn’t about “us”…but rather, it is ALL about HIM!!
      Our men as leaders in the home, WILL be held accountable for their ACTIONS and IN-actions!! I can assure you, they are placed in a position of leadership IN the home, to do good and not harm all the days of their lives. IF they abuse this privilege (And this also goes with our government LEADERS), there will come a day of reckoning.
      WHEN we begin to live for God and place Him on the throne of our lives, the devil won’t like it one bit…but go ahead, try it…go for whatever day to day changes that you yourself can make in YOUR own life to better it.
      The only man we NEED is Jesus, and He would not want any of us to be doormats (employees, women, citizens etc)…so live accordingly. If you know Jesus, then know you are a daughter of the Most High!
      There would not be any beatings, rape, murders, theft by the masses, if we had ORDER. God is The God of such Order. Turn to Him…All you citizens of the World!! Blessings to you and yours ~

      1. Well, I wonder why we have just held a commission of enquiry (Australia) into the vile and brutal sexual attacks on children and the vulnerable, spanning decades, by senior people within the Catholic Church. Perhaps they were not reading their bibles?

    2. The thought of being a man and being in “power” has radically got into our fathers heads and embodied their hearts with so much aggresion. Its heart aching and eye sickning to see young women out there supporting and come into agreement with excuses that are being made with their boyfriends or husbands to beat them up! “I beat you up because I’m protecting you” that’s the excuse behind the ill act! Its aching, its sick its UNACCEPTABLE!

      Please tag me on facebook with other beautiful, thought intriguing pieces you are writing. (Pretty Lebese) on facebook

      1. What about women? Don’t they rape?don’t they steel?don’t they murder? Don’t they visit certain places to have sex holidays?like Nigeria,Bali ect. Statistics shows that they are worst than men when it comes to domestic violence. Men don’t report it because they are ashamed .

    3. Please sir, never be ashamed of yourself. Never blame skin colour or gender for the actions of a cruel heart. Thank you that you care so deeply for us ladies. You sir aee an honourable man.

  2. I am so glad that someone saw value in this passage and publish it! Moeketsi is one of the brothers who has earned my respect, if only we all live by his values…….

  3. Wow Chief powerful stuff sad but true. Hope that we can stand together as a nation to continue to raise our voice and fight crime together. I still think we need the death penalty it is the only way we can make a clean slate.

  4. Dear Moketsi,

    I admire your honesty and integrity greatly. I cannot say i have any answers for you nor will i even attempt to give a view on this subject as i believe your open letter says it all.

    I hear your anguish and i share it because this problem is not isolated to the back community but is prevalent in in all communities in South Africa. It seems to me as if this is a uniquely South African problem as far as the scale of horror is concerned.

    I stand in solidarity with you on this issue and give you my undertaking to fight with all the means at my disposal to try and stem the tide.

    Kind regards

    Johan

    1. Purely by virtue of the demographics , the overwhelming majority of the perps are blacks . This also suggests the majority of the ANC voter data base fall within this category . A crying , unspeakable shame

  5. I have concerns with the title of this article for its implicit demonization of a black race, black males in particular. And for failing to propose solutions to structural violence that continues to grip our society.

    Gender politics is obviously not one of Mosola’s strongest points. Besides that I concur with all social problems he raises, I do not agree with demonizing of a gender in society. To say he is ashamed of being a black man, in my view, perpetuates certain stereotypes about the black race in general. Racial inferiority complex? He is a black person before he’s a male. But I suppose that is not what he meant.

    What is also disturbing is that Mosola fails to trace the the root causes of instability in our society. Structural violence is entrenched in our society. Everyone feels unsafe in the dark and in less secure urban areas. Black males are also victims of this violence. So, what Mosola appears to insinuate that there is something inherently wrong with another of many Godly creations, the Black Male.

    I have (black) boy children. I suppose others others have too. I honestly feel there is a need to promote right values for all children so that we can grow a beautiful people. I definitely have a duty to raise these kids in a better way for them to become better people and good citizens. I can’t use phrases like “I am ashamed of being a Black man” – otherwise I’d be saying to them it is Ok to develop feelings of self hate.

    I feel that misguided “gender bashing” agendas do not build society. Articles of this nature do not promote and or advocate good standards of behavior. We need to shape the gender equality in a manner that allows for all to realize that it is not up to us abuse and or kill people for who they are.

    The women story can only become a reality if both males and females work together to shape society.

    Happy Women’s Day to all sisters!!!!

    1. Siyabonga I agree a lot man with you our aim to celebrate women’s day it not to insinuate that there Is something wrong being a male but to promote and bring the awareness to all human kind that includes both men and women that we all deserve to be treated with respect. Most of all to highlight certain qualities in diversity.

    2. Read the statistics…. and pay attention to names… It seems what this gentleman (and he IS a gentleman) talks about is based on race, but while I agree with you that this is prevalent in ALL humanity, the REASON why this is mostly race based is because of HATRED and the INABILITY to NOT take revenge on a minority group who you are unable to forgive…

      Two wrongs don’t make a right, but revenge is a very deep seated human emotion… Woe to the land where the slaves have become the masters… Even the Bible understood this…

      ——————————————————————————-

      Lamentations 5:8 is a prophecy about the New South Africa …7Our fathers sinned, and are no more; It is we who have borne their iniquities. 8Slaves rule over us; There is no one to deliver us from their hand. 9We get our bread at the risk of our lives Because of the sword in the wilderness.…

      ——————————————————————————–

      It is true that the whites have sinned and enslaved the blacks… But the blacks now have reversed that and it’s ‘pay back’ time…isn’t it?

      The sad thing is that Messiah Yeshua (Jesus Christ) said that IN HIM there is NO MORE slave or free man, man or woman, Greek or Jew (may I add Afrikaner or Zulu/Xhosa/Shangaan/Ndebele/Sotho/et all…. and NO ONE seems to understand that FORGIVENESS means LOVING your enemies…

      Peace will only return to this country when He returns as Prince of Peace… And by acting this way toward the whites, blacks are just showing that they themselves are not above the sin of selfrighteousness…

      I pray that people like this gentleman will one day be in the MAJORITY…there ARE still some good black folk out there!!!

      1. There are MANY good black folk out there. Folk who would sacrifice their own lives to protect the life of another human being. In fact, I think the majority of the black folk out there are of this type. Not just black folk, but all people. I hope the majority of people think like me.

      2. This is the biggest amount of rubbish that I have read in a long time. Revenge? Really? Poor white people being targetted by these savage blacks? Wake up!!! Do you have any idea how many black women and children are raped everyday? Are raped over a weekend? Are murdered over a weekend? Proportionally black men are not even the most violent.. It is coloured men. Proportionally!! Yes! There is a problem in South Africa, actually in all of Africa. There is rape and murder and abuse of women everywhere. Stop making everything about the colour of your skin. Black and coloured people don’t steal from you because they are racist, they steal from you because you have stuff to steal. They don’t just rape you, they rape anything on two legs, although it is mostly black women and children who get raped. Get over yourself. People rape because they are sick savages, not because your grandfather stole their land. Everything is not about revenge of land, otherwise millions of black and coloured women and children would not also be raped and murdered every year.

    3. I agree with you There are equal amounts of white men that should use the same words. Being a host to many boys in my home as well as their perents. I dont mo why one should be ashamed of being black. Now I will be called names and hope not to land up in court rooms. But I love my black boys and i can truly say with all respect. These perents made a choice. A choice to take every oppertunity to make a better life. I love my black friends and love their kids.More than I can say about some white people.

    4. I believe this is a call to the male majority in South Africa to bring about change. It is in your hands. If we do not actively condemn sexism in society we are not doing enough. Remember “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

  6. I JUST NEED TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ONE-SIDED, INFURIATING BLOG…

    Look, South Africa has it’s own challenges, both women and Men in SA face some kind of challenges….

    But I can’t stand men, who, in an attempt to get some “love” and adoration from women, who will always find it nessesary to always paint men as “evil”….

    Here’s what gets to me, you NEED TO STOP, sir, To use Blanket statements in your blog when talking or referring to Men in general,

    I don’t understand why you have to paint a bleak picture of South African men as demonic and evil, (operating word being “South African Men in general”, black white, etc.)

    What you say about South African men is unjust, not well researched and one-sided propaganda,

    NOT ALL SA MEN, RAPE, KILL MAIME AND DESTROY WOMEN,

    You and I sir, and MANY, I MEAN MANY MEN ACROSS SA are prime example of that, (of cause that’s assuming that you don’t rape etc.)

    I was raised by a woman, a single parent, who supported more than 9 people in one house,
    There a lot I thank my mum for, fact that she taught me how to love, serve others and love God…

    My mother did a Great job in raising us, and she has my love and respect for that,

    This is what u need to internalize mr Moeketsi;

    “Not every man is a demon, and certainly, not every woman is a saint,”

    So, STOP addressing the situation in SA as a war-zone, in which ALL MEN in SA are perpetrators…

    In conclusion,

    I’m so glad that your post, though appealing to most women-folk, it does not speak the entire truth about us SA Men,

    Just because women are not physically strong enough to kill, rape or injure men, it does not mean than women are harmless…

    There’s far more damage most women do to men than people care to even entertain….

    1. Unfortunately he is 100% correct! black, and not all of the but the majority are the savages of this world. During protests the loot, destroy, and cause destruction where ever the go. They only make up a small percentage of the population in America but yet 95% of the convicts are black males! Here in South Africa 99% of crimes from the little ones to the murders are caused by BLACK SAVAGED males, Why? Is this in you DNA? The majority of our population just want to make a living but instead we have to live behind bars to keep these savages out. If they don’t murder and rape our wife’s they sit in parliament steeling for self enrichment. Black makes should look at themselves and be honest to themselves because I will be also ashamed to be black and a male! Thank God I’m not!

      1. I would just like to point out that this individual is speaking on behalf of himself, not on behalf of all white males and DEFINITELY not on my behalf.
        It’s not in our DNA to be like this, it might be something in the Karoo water.

      2. I am in the unenviable position everyday to see what men do to woman and especially children. Regretfully what we have seen of late is that the majority perpetrators of child abuse in this country, especially child rape, is WHITE ON WHITE!!! The sensational cases of rape, abuse and murder only make the headline news, however, every day white atrocities to children are on the increase. If you look at ratio per capita whites are far more likely to commit a crime against a child or woman. Our statistics show that over the past two years intra-familial rape in white households has far outweighed sexual assault in children among blacks. Yes we have crime and the media wants us to believe it is a BLACK problem but we forget that there are almost 50 million blacks to 5 million whites – you go do the math! Obviously it looks unbalanced, we should all get off our political soapboxes and realise there is a problem in this country and that it should be addressed immediately. We need strong role models especially among men who are willing to change the value system in this country. I admire the writer for taking responsibility in his article, however, he should have been writing from an all ethnic group perspective. I am not blind to believe ALL men are perpetrators, many great men have given of their time and money to try and rectify the situation, however, it is such an overwhelming challenge in this country we need more men to step forward and become warriors for women.

      3. Nugter boer, foeitog jy klink alleen en na ń serious gatkruiper! and Stephan you don’t need to point anything out, at least he raise an opinion, you just an idiot!

      4. Alles behalwe Nugter boer, as jy weet hoe jou keyboard werk, vra net vir mamma om vir jou Ref. Jesse James te google dan gee jy aandag wat hy self se van blacks, YouTube en sien vir jouself. Stephan if you are black, sorry but I belief that it is in your DNA and if you are white read again you idiot

      5. Lol, I just had to laugh when I read your comment. You actually make it easy for ‘savages’ to kill you when you treat them as if they are animals. You ask if it is in their DNA, are you THAT racist? YES, the majority of rapists are black, but the majority of black people are not rapists. I don’t even know why I am conversing with you, as you appear to be extremely unintelligent. People don’t rape because they are black. They rape because they are damaged and evil. And most of the time, such people are created by dire socio-economic conditions. Who lives in the most dire socio-economic conditions? Ta-da!! You guessed right Frikkie! Black people!!!

    2. Aubrey,

      I wholeheartedly agree with your position on this article.

      I do believe that Moeketsi has a lot of very valid points. There is still a lot of growing that we as South Africans need to do, and there are a lot of really terrible things happening to women and children in this country. And I applaud Moeketsi for voicing this in a public forum. But to make a statement that you are ashamed of being a black man, implies two things. Firstly, that it is ONLY black men that are responsible for these atrocities, and -secondly- that ALL black men behave in this manner. I personally think this is a viciously unfair statement to make.

      These problems occur across the whole spectrum of cultures in South Africa. I will name Cézanne Visser (advocate Barbie) as example for the sole purpose of her being a WHITE FEMALE. And lately in the news there have been reports again of white families exploiting their children in sex-trade. And you can even go as far back as Gert van Rooyen. This does not cause me to go around saying that I am ashamed to be a white male, or even that I am ashamed to be South-African.

      Yes the situation is bleak in South Africa at the moment, but so is it in the rest of the world. We should do our part in raising our children the best we can, and to fight this sort of evil. Not to cast blame on any specific demographic (even if it is our own).

      Regards to all.

      1. Stephan you are so far off that by the nonsense you utter here, you are blinded by you own bullshit. First world country, ever heard about that? Next time plan you holiday so, you might learn something. During Japan’s (first world) tsunami everybody supported everybody, with Katrina in the US (first word) the BLACK males raped, looted and cause more harm than good! What is happening here in SA is a direct act of BLACK stupidity, still blind? Good luck jackass!

    3. It is true that the whites have sinned and enslaved the blacks… But the blacks now have reversed that and it’s ‘pay back’ time…isn’t it?

      The sad thing is that Messiah Yeshua (Jesus Christ) said that IN HIM there is NO MORE slave or free man, man or woman, Greek or Jew (may I add Afrikaner or Zulu/Xhosa/Shangaan/Ndebele/Sotho/et all)…. and NO ONE seems to understand that FORGIVENESS means LOVING your enemies…

      Peace will only return to this country when He returns as Prince of Peace… And by acting this way toward the whites, blacks are just showing that they themselves are not above the sin of selfrighteousness…

      I pray that people like this gentleman will one day be in the MAJORITY…there ARE still some good black folk out there!!!

      And YOU sir…while you yourself and a few more may be above this disgrace…need to take off the blinkers and see the truth for what it is. The rest of the world does. Don’t let your own self righteousness get in the way…. The men YOU describe here are the MINORITY… Rather spend your own energy to rectify this situation.. Your actions speak so loud that it’s hard to hear what you proclaim….

      1. wow where have you been living for past couple of decades, becasue its clearly not Planet Earth…Black are the problem you saying, are you serious…we are currently face with a situation right now…and that is…Pistorius…a white man, who is known for beating his girlfriends, known for killing his girlfriend…but no, you right…the problem is with the black man…self righteousness will get you nowhere Catherine…we all have blood on our hands African, AMERICAN, EUROPEAN, ASIAN…we all sinner… If you remember in the Bible, since you want to be all righteous with your comment,…Jesus spoke to his peope and told them, and i quote :

        “Do not judge so that you will not be judged. “For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? “Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:1-5)

        Don’t judge unless you ready to be judged….

    4. EVIL TRIUMPH WHEN GOOD MEN DO NOTHING!!!
      THE ONE THEN THAT DOES NOTHING IS AS GUILTY AS THE ONE WHO COMMITS THE EVIL!!!

      I STAND WITH ALL DECENT MEN PROTECTING AND HONOURING OUR LADIES AND GIRLS!!!

      ON A DIFFERENT NOTE:

      MOST PEOPLE THAT ARE PART OF THIS DISCUSSION ARE MISLED BY FOOLS THAT CONTINUE TO HARP ON ABOUT THE RACE NONSENCE, YOU ARE ALL LIED TO BY EVIL GREEDY MEN FROM OVERSEAS USING THE RACE GAME TO DIVIDE US AND PREVENT US FROM BECOMING THE DEFACTO POWER-HOUSE OF AFRICA!!!

      DONT YOU SEE???

      DIVIDE AND CONQUER!!!

      FROM A GENETICS PERSPECTIVE, THE BIT I READ ONLINE, VARIOUS RACES DOES NOT EXIST!!! WE ARE ALL GODS BELOVED CHILDREN.

      VARIOUS CULTURES DOES EXIST BUT NOT RACES. PEOPLE HAVE VARIOUS SKIN COLOURS BECAUSE THEY HAVE ADAPTED TO THEIR ENVIRONMENT OVER THE LAST 6000 YEARS.

      SO YES EVIL MEN NEEDS STOPPING FOR WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO OUR SOCIETY!!

      I FULLY SUPPORT BLACK ECONOMIC EMPOWERMENT BUT NOT AFFIRMATIVE ACTION AS IT DIVIEDS OUR NATION FOR THE PURPOSES STATED ABOVE. AFFIRMATIVE ACTION DOES NOT WORK (VARIOUS STUDIES INTERNATIONALLY HAS SHOWN THIS) FIRST YOU HAVE TO CHANGE WHAT A MAN BELIEVE ABOUT HIMSELF, AMONG OTHERS, THEN HIS CIRCUMSTANCES WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.

      THE DEEPER WE LOOK INTO THE UNGODLY MIRROR OF BLACK POOR OPRESSED MINDSET AND SPEECH PATTERNS, THE MORE YOUR LIFE WILL FOLOW THAT PATH DOWNWARD!!! THABO MBEKI TRIED TO CONVEY THIS MESSAGE TO HELP PEOPLE GET OUT OF POVERTY BUT INSTEAD HE GETS OUSTED IN A COUP!!

      SO YES I DO USE CAPITALS ON PURPOSE BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THE AUTHERS POINT AND BELIEVE IT APPLIES TO ALL MEN NO MATTER THEIR CULTURAL BACKGROUND!!

      BRAVO FOR STANDING FOR WHAT IS RITE AND NOT BOWING TO THE POPULAR VIEW!!

      OUR COUNTRY NEEDS MORE LIKE HIM!!!

    5. As a mature woman in SA, I am truely proud of this finely well raised young SA man !!!!! Indeed it did not come across as a one sided blog, he mentioned to those who are not like the killers and rapists to stand up against such murderous brutality or else they are exactly part of such unacceptable behavior , (which indicates that the majority is not so! yet if we do not stand up against it …???) it is a fact no voice about something.. condones their actions. It takes a man of character to stand out and voice his opinion with regards to this serious matter!!!!! A man well loved by his educators need no further adoration from other woman… sorry dear respect for this man is what makes me proud of him.

  7. I acknowledge the writers observations and the truth highlighted by the article. However, it is quite concerning that young black men will feel lost and confused when reading such an article. They need to read something that highlight such challenges but at the same time be given ways of addressing such in our society. It is clear that our society is faced with a creative challenge of moral decay.Therefore,as black South African men we should be looking at ways to pursue moral regeneration.

    We will never see a positive difference if keep using a blanket approach on such issues,particularly about black men because though we know so much about incidents that happen in black communities, which is to be expected as we are in majority,there still such in other racial communities.

    I therefore challenge every black men to stand up and be a role model in their community to bring the positive difference we are all yearning for.The next generation has to learn something valuable from us not the inferiority demeanour that we display.

  8. I don’t take credit when Motsepe is super successful, so then why must I be responsible for the loser who beats his wife? I’m responsible for the actions of Karim Mbuso Ntshangase and his sons. I’m not responsible for the actions of rapists and hijackers. I’m not ashamed of being a black man.

    1. But what if your Wife or daughters or even your sons falls victim to these horrible crimes? What actions would you take?
      And if they could be prevented, if we all stand together regardless of race, and stop these crimes…

  9. I think it takes guts to say what you did, first of all.

    And I agree, violence against women and children should not be tolerated.

    So why is it still happening?

    I think, considering all aspects like poverty, lack of education, apartheid LOL!, in the end, the one thing that can stop this is if the punishment fitted the crime.

    Our laws are too lax, I would not mind the death penalty for a rapist, or farm murders truth be told.

    Something like the life penalty, where we harvest your organs and give them to those in need, that way forcing you to help humanity forward.

    Then again, someone would be walking around with JZ’s kidneys..

    Anyhow, I wish all rapists, murderers could all be killed, what a happy place SA would be.

  10. The problem is the single parent family, where mothers are the parent. The father is absent. Father’s are very important in a man’s life. How does a son learn how to treat women and children if he doesn’t learn from his father and his proper uncles. A father’s role and presence are extremely important to the development of a young man. When his mother shouts, he starts laughing, but when his dad gives him that look, he knows he is 5 Seconds from trouble. The reason we have dysfunctional men in our society is because there are no men to pull them straight in the formative years. Correct behavior is moulded over time. Boys are little beasts and they can only be controlled by men. Sorry mothers, but no amount of talking and shouting from you is gonna do it. Little men children (little beadts) are brought in line by the threat of harm from their fathers. Otherwise they grow up to be terrible animals. The animals that can only be controlled by removing them from society. There are many factors that contribute to the reason South Africa is in this situation in the black community. These have already been mentioned above. My advise is, if you don’t want society to be burdened by even more mail children not being brought up by their fathers, then to the male readers….. Please please, don’t have children unless you are there to mould them and bring them up properly. Even if you don’t marry, just please pay attention to your child, otherwise you will be realising a little beast that turns into a grown beast on the rest of us.

    1. Thank you Sammi…whether black or white, a good Father and Son is where to start.

      I AM NOT ASHAMED OF BEING A BLACK MAN/FATHER IN SOUTH AFRICA.

      SOCIAL CHALLENGES SEE NO RACE OR COLOUR!!!

  11. Dear fellow South Africans, the matter here addressed has been on my heart for a very long time as I have seen also the white community falling into moral decay. One of the main problems is the film industry and TV. When I was young white people read their Bibles and visited with family and friends, now they sit in from of the TV and our people learn moral values from Hollywood and actors (every one of them sleep around and cannot hold a marriage or family together – these are now our role models along with Rock stars!!!). Divorce rates are escalating, family life is falling apart. Sex is not a toy to play with for God created us for a purpose. Young people should be studying and preparing to become useful members of societies and marry and have children when they are grown up and responsible adults faithful to their spouses and able to support and guide their families. Children need a father and a mother. We as a nation need to switch off the TV’s and return to our God who Created us and first of all love Him and serve Him and love and serve each other. May God bless our nation, black, white, yellow, all of us. I am glad I am South African, I love all our races.

  12. You can be ashamed of the others who are in fact doing these crimes…and it is a good thing that you have had courage to speak up and 2 feet to stand up against the tyranny of your SA Government’s SILENCED crimes!
    But…You yourself needn’t be ashamed of WHO YOU are.
    As you are created in the image and likeness of God!
    You are the lone voice holding a mirror up to your people, and saying…”LOOK! What have we become?” “WHO are we?” “WHAT do we stand for, anymore?” and “Can we even recognize ourselves in that mirror?”
    No! It certainly is not You that is the problem.
    And…
    Being Black is not the problem.
    But THIS is the problem: Hate, Racism, Murder, Torture, Rape, Dis-respect, Theft, Dis-regard for all that God has put into your hands…surely He will not be mocked and exact from you (and us all), the wages (penalty) of that Sin as 30-40% of you continue to think this lifestyle is justified by taking the law into your own hands, by purposely mistreating others, by exploiting them, by axing people to death, because You became judge & jury!….THESE are the problems! These are “CRIMES Against HUMANITY” and the blacks responsible need to be stopped.. Now!!
    WHERE are the churches? WHERE are the ELDERS? WHO will be a VOICE crying in the Wilderness, for YOUR people?
    No, Moeketsi…YOU are a part of what i like to call The SOLUTION!!!
    And hopefully others will follow your lead, especially with the up and coming “UHURU” that the whites are currently living under the constant threat of. (They have the horrors of what happened to whites in Rhodesia/Zimbabwe as a map of what is ahead, while the world stood by and did not offer assistance.)

    If we (all) take the side of GOOD and Not EVIL all the days of our lives, then we can remedy our own problems, (in time), as beautiful South Africa is surely under a curse at this present time.
    Now….
    To get your other brothers & sisters on board to stand up against the GENOCIDE of whites in South Africa…and to stand along side of these minority white tribes, who are Still being horribly persecuted (Tortured, Raped and then Murdered)….
    This is what we look forward to seeing from you making a difference, in the Very Near Future…

    With God ALL things Are possible!! 🙂

    1. Barbara I fully agree with you, the color of your skin does not determine that you are a criminal…Acts speaks louder than words.
      There are so many societies and movements out there trying to stop the crime against the minority, why dont Moeketsi Mosola start a movement to support what he believes in. I am sure there are thousands of black men that agree with him, and that will support a movement like that.

      1. In order to stand for you guys and truly be sympathetic a black man had to be ashamed of being himself. Really. A black man like him has no indentity because of all he knows is that I’m a rapist and murderer just on the basis of colour of my skin.
        Wow. I hope you don’t have sons. I fear of the kind mentality they are inflicted with in their upbringing.
        This guy is out of line. As a matter of fact I am not a rapist and neither a murderer. I am a proud black man and African at heart. What he’s done has hurt us most because he’s reinforcing racist stereotypes. Black men are this and that.
        He is suffering from misguided self hate and inferiority complex.

  13. Thank you Mr Mooketsi for speaking out and thank God for other men who feel the same. May God be with us, all of us and may we start working together to stop these rapes and killings. May each and every one living in South Africa see a person as a creation of God and may we all treat one another with respect.

  14. Hi Moeketsi

    You are right coming to what you have written about crime against women.What i dont i agree with is putting/stating colour when coming to crime.Black men are not the only crime committers against women,what about men from a different race in south africa.

    You are ashamed by crime committed by blackmen against women and children,than by white,coloured and indian men against women.

    Your letter comes from a man who is mentally enslaved by crimes committed by blackmen,than other races against women and children.Crime does not have race,expect in the justice system where a blackman will get a heavier sentence,compared to a whiteman who committed the same crime.

    So be careful what say about your own skill colour.A whiteman raped a blackwoman lady farmworker because,Eugene terblanche was killed. I doubt if the poor woman ever got justice.I blackman praying in a plot was killed by white farmer because he mistook him for a monkey.

    Modimolle monster forced blackmen to rape his own wife,who are you ashmed of between the two.

    Minister of state security also read “Crimes comitted against women and girl children”,then am thinking what about boys who are abused and raped minister.

    So dont colourise crime mr moeketsi.

    Regards
    Nicholas Mmethi

    1. This subject is not about colour,nor gender.The person living without GOD,is the most dangerous.My sons are decent black men,honouring the human race.I am not ashamed to be a GOD fearing black man.

  15. I have been struggling to understand what the whole point of this post is. Simply because as a black woman I will not stand back and not have an input when our men are being demonized like this. I was born of a great black African heritage. None of my uncles or ancestors have ever been charged with any crime. I am born of a black men, I have a brother, I have nephews. I am in a wonderful relationship with a black man. I love my black men and all the men. Actually I love all men. Why? We are all God’s creation. Crime affects all of us in this country. Its not a colour issue. Black men we love you and respect you. From a proud black African sister.

    1. it saddens me that a great deal of time and effort was taken to label all black men as beasts and somebody to say he is ashamed of being a black man is unacceptable. Unfortunate and unacceptable incidents where women and children are killed and raped should not erase great work done by blackmen,South Africans who love,nurture and protect their wives,children and support them every blessed day. I will say this I thank God that i am a South African blackman proud to be raising my girls,making sure that no harm befalls them. I know i am just a grain amongst millions of South African blackmen who are doing this. I refuse to be painted with a paint that insinuate that i am a demon that need to be locked.

  16. Mr. Moeketsi

    Your words are hush and too emotional to be read with a rational mind. You have been haste in your decision and one can say you were forced to write this article. You are not attacking the perpetrators nor challenging the south african society to deal with the challenges, instead you are bashing the African men, perpetuating the very same system that is responsible for many persecutions, rapes, child murders, atrocities, genocides and oppression of blacks all over the world.

    One will ask you”are you staying in the suburbs with other races and are you always mingling with other races that they pressurize you about the crimes and rapes and put you to shame and have accepted this shame? Are you really ashamed? I believe you are Mr. Moeketsi and it is not because of all the crimes committed but your self hate and inferior complex. You have been poisoned and worse, you have never had a positive male role model in your life and have rendered yourself useless.

    I will tell you something black man, do not carry illness of others in your shoulder, you have a life and enough space to breath and think, do not allow others to put pressure on you for crimes and rapes you did not commit because they are done by your race.

    Hitler was white, Apartheid regime is white, De cock is white and many white done and still do unbelievable acts but I can tell you that you did not paint them with the same brush you are painting black men right now.

    In conclusion, you show concern for society but you have shown more hate and intolerance for your own kind because you hate yourself and worse, you are influenced by outside forces, if this is what the women in your life taught you, it is not good, it is poisonous and you old enough to make your own decisions now.

    Been ashamed for a specific done by some close or you know very well, is justified but blanketing the blame and shouldering such shame to all of us is unfair, the challenge should be how we influence and change the mindset of our society.

    Jeff danhum of america did the unthinkable, must we say all gay and white men are like that?

    You have been very irresponsible with your approach and generalizing and I can tell that you already teaching your children to hate their own kind.

  17. This post is utter STUPIDITY.

    Should the Dutch be ashamed of who they are – it was they who went to an African continent, forcing the natives to become second class citizens on their own land, bringing in Apartheid?

    Should all Germans be ashamed of who they are because of what so many did under Hitler?

    Holocaust was committed by white men. Should all white men be ashamed of their race because of the acts of some?

    Serial Killers are typically white men. Pedofiles are typically white men.

    Should all white men therefore be ashamed of who they are?

    Your inferiority complex is causing you to generalise to an entire race. I actually see where you it comes from – your fear that the ignorant will tarnish all blacks with the same brush, because of the acts of the few.

    The irony is in adopting this mindset, and posting this drivel, you are proving yourself to be just as, if not more ignorant. The ignorant will see this post and find it as confirmation – you see, even some blacks think they are scum. “Its in their DNA”.

    Grow some backbone.
    Can you imagine MANDELA penning such pathetic nonsense?
    You are shameful.

  18. Hope you picked a different subject line. Before I read the content I almost thought you were gonna say you hate your birth race. But I still don’t believe you see any value nor pride in being a black person, before we even deal with the issues you raising. Your article is a picture to me, of those parents who will yell at their kids, but never sit them down and have an honest and heart to heart conversation with them. In a nutshell you saying, black is ugly, satanic to the core and a mistake of creation. You are telling us to aspire being something other than black, to join the ” saints’s club” where there is none of these things..the holly races!

    I was raised in an environment that had no much regard for a woman, except her domestic duties. Children too were objects for a man do literally do as he pleases about and to them. And because of that I promissed myself to never ever do the very crimes that I saw men to do their female counter parts. Indeed it makes me sad that some few folks are so evil and barbaric. But by no means are they a representation of the whole group. We are so many who are pro life. And you find them across all classes. Perhaps you are only exposed to ” black violence” only, and is affecting your good standing amongst”other folks.”

    Good observations thou, just no balance.

  19. Wow! All I can say is that is the most powerful well written article I have read in a long time and thank you for your deep and honest thought provoking words! Well done !

  20. Is this the best this writer can do? Ashamed of being a black man? I think he was just trying to be relevant on Woman’s Day so that he could get all the pats in the back for being mindful of something affecting women. All he does is moan and make himself a victim of a black skin and acts as if he is the only one who has unconditional love for his female relatives. Whatever he is raising here is not something new and as I continued reading this article I thought that he was going to offer some kind of solution to protect his sisters but all he does is be ashamed of being a black man and depict black men as monsters. As much as we are against the tragic incidents he has listed above, some of us are proud to be black men because we understand that this things do not only occur within the black communities but other races as well. There are numerous black people who volunteer their services to community policing forums to try and prevent this things and other criminals activities from happening, others go around their communities discouraging youngsters from engaging in such shameful acts….there are a whole lot of things this writer could do to try and eliminate the shameful acts instead of just sitting and feeling sorry for being black.

  21. My hat off to you Mr. Moeketsi ! Thank you for expressing your feelings about this pervasive scourge destroying the female sphere. Now not everybody will like the truth. We live in a time were they will hate you for telling the truth and love you for brushing them with lies. what irony this is?? These are desperate times whereby in order to be accepted, you have to be politically correct so you don’t offend whining hypocrites. If the shoe fits let them wear it. I deeply revere your courage to express your true and honest feeling about this social phenomenon which threatens to swallow our world into hell before our blinkers are removed. They choose to overlook the important message delivered in this article because they are guilty. Why should you receive wrath for showing contempt for evil doings ?? The author points out specific cases which involve black South African men perpetuating violence against women but ye choose to make it a race issue. Sadly what he talks about happen in reality, stop portraying him as a villain for defending the rights of women. He is speaking to the men who commit this awful crime who happen to be predominantly black SA men in SA. If the shoe fits wear it. Just because you disagree with the author doesn’t make you right, it makes you intolerant of other people’s opinions. Its his opinion, He is entitled to it and should be respected accordingly !
    from me Mr. Mosola is a tremendous salutation !

  22. This is not about being black or a Man this is about human beings behaving atrociously, look at the beheadings of children in Iraq, the killings of Palestinian and Israeli children, the massacres and genocide happening all over the world, All good people regardless of race, religion, ethnicity or sex
    should stand proud for what they stand for. Kindness, caring, compassion and empathy to name a few. Enlightenment x

  23. I am so proud of being a south African right now.. Good on everybody for ignoring the morons who chose to write hateful comments. For today….. my faith is restored.
    Anyway I don’t think this writer is bashing black men on purpose you can only talk and write about things you know or have experienced. Our cultures differ so he is writing in a Black man shoes from a black African man’s point of view. He is awesome, his concern is genuine and I am proud that there are men out there who feel like this in my country. There is hope for our children’s future if there are father’s out there like him. Moeketsi I hope God blesses you with many sons and daughters our future needs men like yourself.

  24. Wow, I have read most of the replies. Most of your replies are well written. I value all human beings equal and believe each culture is beautiful and unique. I dont think Mr Moeketsi tried to insult just any black man. He knows there will be guilty men reading this article and if Mr Moeketsi reach one of them… The article was worth the risk. I think he tried to say that the image of the Black man is one of good strong and moral values, So be the Black man that Africa knows…so what if white men are also bad… That is their issue… Let a White man stand up and adress the guilty white men. but Mr Moeketsi is now telling all the guilty black man… Stop and be the proud african man youre forefathers had tought your fathers and you need to teach your children. Why are you hurting children, women and old people? Seek help and restore youre beautiful heritage

  25. Finally!

    Your race is on a path of destruction son, you need to change very soon or you are doomed. Your race is being used and abused more so now than ever before but this time it’s by your “own” people, you have been enslaved by those that told you they were going to “free” you and most of you can’t even see it and some, refuse to see it even though they know this is the truth because its always everybody else’s fault.

    You a brave man Mr Mosola for writing this, respect to you for that, now please try and wake up your brothers before it’s too late, we still have a little time but it’s running out now.

  26. “I am ashamed to be black and a man in South Africa”…You should be ashamed of yourself for being ashamed of yourself, I don’t see how this has anything to do with race. If you did your proper research you would know that the top 10 highest rates of rape anywhere in the world is:

    10. Poland:
    Poland is one of the developed and famous nations in the world where the women are given freedom to live independent lives. But unfortunately the working women are being kidnapped, raped and killed every now and then. Every year more than 2000 females are threatened and raped, and the rate is said to be increasing day by day.
    9. United States of America:
    We all believe that USA is a super-power, it is but this super-power still has so much to work on for ensuring the peace and harmony to its citizens. Every month over 1200 women and young girls are raped in different cities of United States.
    8. Argentina:
    It is absolutely true that Argentina has had been the nation with serious street crimes since a decade. But recently tremendous increase in the rape cases has also been reported. Here the professional and non-professional ladies are not only raped but also killed by the rapists. Every five out of thirty women in Argentina become the victims of this crime.
    7. Belgium:
    Belgium, according to an estimate, has been under serious threat of rape cases. The increment is said to be over 30 % as compared to the previous few years. It seems that the current government is not taking measures to arrest and punish the rapists.
    6. New Zealand:
    In New Zealand, during January-February 2014, more than 1500 cases of rape had been reported and it is estimated that everyday four to five women are killed by the rapists in different parts of the country.
    5. Germany:
    Over 5000 women and college going girls have become the victim of this shameful crime during February 2014. Germany’s government is now seeking external help to overcome the situation and in near future it is expected to become an under-controlled situation.
    4. Israel:
    Israel is one of those fewer nations where the victims of rape are not only the women but also the men. It is very unfortunate that the men and boys are also sexually harassed and badly raped.
    3. Sweden:
    The cases of rape and murders of victims are of extreme level in Sweden. During December 2013 and January 2014, more than 2300 females were raped badly and the rapists physically harmed them a lot. Out of them, more than half died in hospitals and some became handicapped for a lifetime.
    2. Spain:
    Spain is one of the most favorite and admirable tourist attractions in the world. It is said that the tourist females are kidnapped for the sake of ransom or for committing rape like crimes.
    1. India:
    India is one of those nations where the rape has taken a miserable form. It is no doubt true to say that India has highest rape crime in 2014. Here the working women are not appreciated by the so-called men’s society. Many of them are kidnapped and raped, and even killed for no reason. Every four out of ten women in India are under this serious threat and the situation has become alarming for the government and official persons to take measures immediately.

    http://top10for.com/top-10-countries-highest-rape-crime-2014/

    Your article is very misleading and it pushed a western agenda of AFRICAN men in general. If you go through that list of top ten colprits you will notice that AFRICA is not listed there so I fail to understand where your argument stems from, or where you get your information because you clearly do not do your research before you write articles and that is unprofessional of you.

    Next time you write an article do us a favor and research before you mislead the masses to believe things that are not true. AFRICA was raised on UBUNTU, and thats where we are at. Now we might have problems and issues, like everyone else in the world, but there is worse out there.

    I am PROUD TO BE A BLACK SOUTH AFRICAN MAN, if you are a rapist or a woman beater that is a problem with you as a person not because you’re black, so please refrain from generalizing when writing your article you come off a bit corny and misleading.

    1. Well said. We don’t condone rape and violence against women period and without buts. At the same time stupidity is and self hatred and inferiority complex is not acceptable. This guy needs to apologise to us black men. He just insulted us and said lies about us. He hates us. He seriously needs help.

  27. I’m taking it upon myself to put everything in perspective:

    Top 10 most dangerous places in the world:
    10.) Sudan
    9.) Mexico
    8.)Honduras
    7.) Dominican Republic
    6.) Chad
    5.) South Africa (this is where we are)
    4.) CAR
    3.) Venezuela
    2.) Nigeria
    1.) Iraq

    Top 10 highest rates of rape in the world:

    10.) Poland
    9.) USA
    8.) Argentina
    7.) Belgium
    6.) New Zealand
    5.) Germany
    4.)Israel
    3.)Sweden
    2.)Spain
    1.) India

  28. Your total disregard for the truth and perspective are nothing short of shameful and opportunistic! Can anyone really be this naive and callous or are you just pretending and whipping us up to create traffic to your blog? In a world with more than 7 billion people, 50.4% of which are male you have narrowed down the cause of crime to 2 factors… being black and being male. I struggle to even understand your attempt to use a handful of henious crimes to rouse emotion and aportion the blame on race and gender. Are Caucasian people innocent of henious crimes? Cannibalism, rape, incest, murder… this crimes are committed all over the world by all races and genders! If you think the frequency or propensity is hightened by skin colour then you need to put your earings back on and stop pretending to be sane!

  29. I am not there, I am in the US- we do have those issues here as well. You as a Black and a Man, I for one, a White Man in the US, and proud of you- soooooo proud!!! Keep your stand for right and morality!! The only weapon against darkness is light- and you are a light

  30. You should be. It took the blacks less than 20 years to destroy 400 years of very hard work. And the only way to fix it is to put the white man back in power which you blacks are not intelligent enough to realize.

  31. No Maan, Moeketsi u out of Order chief, I have a daughter, 1st year in high school dis year, Im worried like U, but I dnt blame every man abt rape in our communities, society etc. I worried & concerned but wena U selfishly accusing every man as if we support rape, or as if we dnt care abt the situation… U acting as u de only 1 who cares abt our Women and Girls… o seke wa akaretsa, is like those white people who sees every Black man as a thief or thug…and those Blacks who sees all whites as evil and Racist… … …

  32. You know, I wasn’t raised to be racists nor to hate anyone, from any race. To keep apart from other races yes, but not because one is better than the other. Rather to respect and honor each race’s unique differences and culture because when we mix, the one will always dominate the other and inevitably, one will loose who they as a group are. I always knew we were different, and I respected other raceses way of doing things, as long as it wasn’t forced to lower my standards to except their way of doing things as my own.

    Living in South Africa for over 30 years, experiencing who and what the black tribes are for the past 24 years that they have been in power and we are forced to integrate, has changed all of that. I am now a racist, a speciast, and proud of it. Not only do I not want to mix with other races, I no longer respect them as a people, or their culture, or their believes. No one else but them are to blame for this. I now understand why the Bible refers to them as “beast of the field”. So for that at least, I can thank them. They opened my eyes to who they really are.

  33. Race is merely a component of culture, you are born into the sins of your fathers but not your brothers. The “black” macro-race itself is not directly the problem, the problem is the stubborn purposeful etitlement-feuled backwards-ness that most seem to display. Of course it’s usually the most stupid and loud of any group other than your own that grab your attention the most so that must be kept in mind.

    Biggest problem is the habit of blaim-shifting, of being caught red handed but screaming “IT WASN’T ME” or it was really the fault of as soon as any wrongdoing is uncovered. This childish stopgag will never work long term and the entire country is falling apart because of it, or perhaps rotting away is a better way of saying it. From this all other current problems stem.

    As for the culture of male power or the mythical “patriarchy” that feminists froth at the mouth over…. even in the few places it actually exists it woul not be a problem at all IF proper controls were in place. A king without accountibility is a mere tyrant, unless he serves his subjects the same way they serve him he is simply not fit to sit in his position. A culture of tyrants does not invalidate the institution of having a king…. people usually end up getting the leaders they deserve.

  34. Mr Moeketsi…i sat a long time considering whether to reply or not, but here goes….i do understand your feelings and your opinion, i would however change your heading of this article to “im ashamed to be a man in this world”…its not about being black or white or indian or coloured…the statistics are skewed purely due to the demographics..there are a lot more black people here than other races….but our universal failing is that there are men, and im talking about a minority, who have given up their responsibility to be the protectors and providers and have been subverted by evil in to committing these atrocious crimes against our woman…and we…as “law abiding” men are also at fault…as the saying goes, all that evil requires to triumph is that good men do nothing. We, as men in south africa and the world, need to be united in our efforts to change not only the attitudes of those that feel they can commit these crime with impunity, but also our own attitudes of being bystanders. there are a lot more Good men in the world than there are bad ones. i have read with some amusement the comments saying that there are woman who are just as bad, if not worse than men in committing abuse. I say let that be an issue for the woman of the world to address, we need to get our own house in order before looking at other sexes.

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