When two people come together and decide to start a romantic relationship, their lives and feelings are automatically attached to one another – and their new status could be described in a single word: partners.

You firstly fall in love with this human being – your partner (boyfriend/girlfriend) – who would be introduced to your parents at some stage as ‘a special friend’. What you share is beyond the relations you have with your family, friends and associates.

You share a special love that also involves sexual practice. During love making oxytocin hormone is released by both men and women. This is the same hormone that is released during childbirth, which helps to cement the strong bond between a mom and a baby. This hormone helps deepen the feelings of attachment.

This simply means love and sex between two people are a covenant. Covenant between two people is a biblical concept and involves a commitment that will only be broken by death, and it is made for three reasons: love, mutual protection and mutual benefit (material).

On the 5th September 2013, Vine Magazine published a passage by Sexuality Education and Family Life Coach, Praise Fowowe, titled: Sex is a covenant exchange. Some of the words derived from the passage read: “sex starts and breaks a covenant and what that means is that if you have had sex with seven guys, it actually means you have been married seven times and divorced six times because you are actually married to the last person you slept with.

“The minute you have sex with each other you are spiritually married, blood is interchanged and you are one.”

Over the years there has been much debate about girlfriends who act like wives; and how partners won’t financially support each other because they are not married.

One may ask: is it wrong for unmarried partners to support each other financially?

Some may argue that getting married is merely to receive an official union certificate by department of affairs (home affairs), but the couple’s responsibility for each other does not start after signing legal documents. It continues.

An unemployed lady, who was struggling to find a job, wrote to Ask DR. Anonymous blog, seeking for an expert advice on how to approach her boyfriend for financial assistance. The DR.’s response was rather harsh, not what the poor woman was hoping for. He said you are not your boyfriend’s responsibility, men were not sent to this world for women’s financial gain. Furthermore, he said if you want to be treated like a prostitute, register at a sugar daddy site. Well, this is the worst advice one can give a worried person. Or could it be the harsh truth?

Whichever way one sees it but if we are in a relationship, we are each other’s responsibility. Understandably, I am not your mother or your wife, but the one you are in covenant with. If my shoes are torn, do I need to ask my partner to assist in getting them fixed or buy another pair? As we are each other’s responsibility it must instantly come from the heart.

Women are often discouraged to act like wives before a man puts a ring on it. But – arguably – as partners who submitted ourselves to each other, there is absolutely nothing wrong with assisting him by ironing, cooking or generally takes care of him. I wouldn’t want to see my boyfriend walking around with dirty clothes, knowing very well that he’s always busy and I have a bit of time.

We are a team. For unmarried partners to support each other financially should be norm.



About The Author


Lerato is a 25-year-old Tshwane University of Technology graduate, who studied in the field of Management Sciences and Marketing. She is currently studying Engineering. She is a born writer, smart, driven, an entrepreneur at heart, a consultant, motivational speaker, daughter, sister and friend.

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